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Spiritual Humor
What did the Zen Master
say when she walked into
the Pizza Shop?
'Make me one with everything.'
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When the Master received the pizza, she gave the pizza-man
a $20 bill.
The pizza-man pocketed the bill.
The Master asked "Don't I get change?"
The Zen pizza-man replied, "Change must come from within."
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When two psychic friends met, one said:
'You are fine. How am I?'
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Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa?
Because he didn't have any attachments.
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Two men are talking on the street.
'And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?'
'Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.'
'Meditating? What's that?'
'I don't know, but it's better than sitting around doing nothing!'
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Did you hear about the Master who was having a filling put
in a tooth?
When the dentist asked her if she wanted an anaesthetic, the
Master replied,
"No, I can transcend dental medication."
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A priest and a bus driver arrive at the gates of heaven at
the same time.
St. Peter allows the bus driver to go straight in, but the
priest is asked to wait.
After a very long wait, the priest asks St. Peter "Why
did that bus driver go straight to the heaven, yet I, who
all my life have spoken about God, have to wait for such a
long time?"
St. Peter replied, "When you were speaking to the people
at your church everybody was sleeping, but when that bus driver
was driving everybody prayed!"
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A new yoga student arrived at the guru's ashram. The guru
told him, 'You can stay here but we have one important rule
- you must completely observe the vow of silence. You will
be given a chance to speak every 12 years.
After 12 long years of yoga and meditation, the student was
finally allowed to speak only one sentence.
He said, 'The bed is too hard.'
He then continued for another 12 years of spiritual discipline
and eventually had another opportunity to speak one more sentence.
He said: 'The food is not good.'
Twelve more years of hard work and another opportunity to
speak.
After 36 long years of practice, he said, 'I Quit.'
His guru replied, 'Good, all you have been doing anyway is
complaining!'
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